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September 24, 2015 No Comments By Yildiz Gengonul

Are you living the life you want?

You’ve probably heard the quote “Be the change you wish to see in the world” (Gandhi). I’m going to take that a step further, and tell you that you must be the change you wish to see in your own life.

You may be at the stage where you realize that something needs to change, but you don’t know exactly what, or how to do it. You may be unhappy, without knowing exactly what’s causing those feelings of unease. You may feel like you’re lacking purpose, inspiration, or motivation. Well, the only way that your life is ever going to change is if YOU change it.

Many of us grew up thinking that our parents, our teachers, and other authority figures have the power to tell us what to do and what not to do. That way of thinking shapes us into being obedient, but never really knowing what we truly want out of life.

So, you may have to take a step back and remove yourself from this trained way of thinking. YOU are the only one in your life who can make things happen for yourself. YOUR opinion is the only one that matters. What makes YOU happy? For me, the answer is being successful. You may have another answer. And that’s okay! We only get one chance to live the life we’re given, so why not live it to the fullest?

How do you get there?

Although most of us spend a lot of time in school, one thing we’re never taught is how to navigate our own lives. How are you feeling about your life? Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I happy?
  • Is there anything I’d like to change about my situation?
  • What would I like my life to look like, feel like, be like?
  • Is there anything I am doing that is preventing me from turning my dreams into my reality?

What’s stopping you?

There are a lot of things that can be stopping you. Whether it’s fear, comfort, or your relationships, you need to address them.

Fear. Are you afraid of the unknown? Afraid of failing? Afraid of what people will say? There’s a popular saying that “Being brave isn’t not being afraid. Being brave is doing it, despite your fear.” It’s okay to feel fear. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. You just have to push through it.

Habit. When the stress of not knowing crops up, it is all too easy to fall back into familiar routines. Say your dream is to quit your job and write a book. You swear that you’ll come home from your day job and write for 2 hours every night. But after a week or so, you find yourself coming home and camping out in front of the TV and scrolling through social media, just like before. What happened? Your routines and habits began to set in to prevent you from addressing the real issues…maybe you don’t want to finish the book because you’re afraid you will fail, or you’re afraid to put your feelings out there. You may have noticed that no matter how far you run on a treadmill, you never really get anywhere. It’s the same thing with life. So, break free of the routine…do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to change?

Toxic relationships. Sometimes, the people around us don’t want us to change. Maybe they’re afraid we’ll leave them behind. Maybe they’re afraid to face something that’s not working in their own lives. If your friend is always asking you to skip your workout and meet her for drinks, maybe she feels bad about her own fitness. Instead of addressing her issues, she’s keeping you down with her. No matter what, a friend or family member who does not want you to be the best you you can be is only being selfish. Surround yourself with the people you want to be more like. You’ll soon begin to attract people more like you.

It’s not easy to change your life. It takes hard work, asking yourself the tough questions, being honest with yourself in your answers, committing to changing, and following through, despite fears, discomfort, and what the people around us think. But the only way to ever truly be happy is to follow your heart. All the answers you need are already inside you…you just have to ask the right questions and listen for the true answers. So, take control of your own life, and ask yourself now: What do I want most for my life?

I’m here to support you in your journey. I want you to be the best you you can be and to live the life you want. You’ve only got one chance.

Love,

YILDIZ

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